Editing and Having Fun (Part Two)
Alex looks at his story and decides there has to be some editing.
Part One.
Today’s episode: The story goes back to the time when Mac’s body had been found incinerated under a tree in Crouchdown-on-the-Marshes.
Today should have been a glorious day for Mac Intosh. The sun was shining, the golf course beckoning, but alas, it was not a good day. Mac, once Mayor of Hogg’s Bonking, had been smitten by a God-like taser while crapping under a tree last week.
All that remained of Mac were ashes and hot shit, inseparable as they were. Mac leaves behind a sixteen-year-old daughter, Notta Adjective Intosh, who announced she was pregnant a little over a month ago!
Alex, for this second story, remembered Mac asking several pages back, “How could she be pregnant?”
Alex muttered to himself, looking down at what he’d written, knowing how she could, but why? And, God forbid, with that Proper Noun kid living above the Morgue with his family. Geezus!
Alex took his time considering a nickname because he didn’t want to keep writing proper nouns and believed only cruel parents could name a child such. So, Alex named him PN. He would write that the boy was ‘simple,’ but he must do better than just tell and give the reader an example to fully demonstrate just how fucking simple.
Alex had another go.
PN wasn’t bright, and the people living in the hamlet were surprised that the boy knew what that piddling little trunk hiding in his pants could be used for. You see, compared to PN, Forest Gump was fucking Einstein!
Alex looked at that paragraph. Yep, he was pleased. Now, the reader gets it.
Of course, this was one of those revelations that had all the people gossiping. What if Mac Intosh had deliberately taken a crap under a tree in a lightning storm, knowing God would end his life for his daughter’s sin.
This would further explain why Mac wore his kilt that day, the tartan of his beloved McIntosh Clan. It certainly uncomplicated the shitting process.
Further, PN, the eldest surviving child, would be the one to choose the kind of service for his father. If previous examples didn’t give away just how dumb PN was, Alex wrote that PN wanted his father’s ashes and hot shit re-cremated!
The only friend PN had was Joe Comma. Alex had trouble with this pesky character, never quite knowing where to put him in the story. For the most part, Joe kept PN out of trouble. Joe Comma is the hamlet’s vicar.
Alex liked Joe Comma too much, a pest, though he was. He should, he thought, give Joe a break, even though when writing, he somehow overlooked Joe Comma not being there, or being there, or where the fuck is he?
Alex believed that Joe was an irritating little bastard, but he’s the only vicar in the hamlet and will preside over Mac Intosh’s hot shit and ashes.
Six of the hamlets’ residents carried Mac’s shit and ashes in a small but smelly urn that was atop a bar-b-que. The small chapel was full. All the hamlet’s residents were in attendance. The Whethers, the Whos, Whys, Whoms, were on one side, and the What, Hows, Whens, Whoever, Where, and Whomevers were constellated in the pews on the other.
Part Three Tomorrow: You are welcome to attend the moving service for Mac Intosh tomorrow. Please bring hankies. The smell is awful. Colons are freely displayed.
Karen Schwartz, Nancy Oglesby, Katie Michaelson, Bernie Pullen, Michelle Jimerson Morris, Amy, Julia A. Keirns, Pamela Oglesby, Tina, Pat Romito LaPointe, Brandon Ellrich, Misty Rae, Karen Hoffman, Susie Winfield, Vincent Pisano, Marlene Samuels, Ray Day, Randy Pulley, Michael Rhodes, Lu Skerdoo, Pluto Wolnosci 🟣, Paula Shablo, Bruce Coulter, Ellen Baker, Kelley Murphy, Leigh-Anne Dennison, Patricia Timmermans, Keeley Schroder, James Michael Wilkinson, Whye Waite, John Hansen, Trudy Van Buskirk, | Dixie Dodd | Joanie Adams — Sightseer; Conjurer Of Words | Adda Maria | Dennett | Men.21times@gmail.com | Nancy Santos | Jenny Blue | Jack Herlocker | Love | Barbara J. Martin | Audrey Clifford | Maria Rattray | Jerry Dwyer | Denise Shelton | Trisha Faye | StorySculptress | Deborah Joyce Goodwin (Red:The-Lady In Blue) | Kelly Corinne Elliott | Emma Vincent | izzibella Beau | Karen Grant |
(No offense will be taken if you dislike being tagged for various reasons. Please let me know, and I’ll be sure it doesn’t happen on my posts again. If, on the other hand, you’d grace me by allowing a tag, I’d be thrilled to add you.
