I Shot the Big Mouth
Fuck her, yelling at me.
This is a warning, okay, you come at me yelling that I cut you off at the last junction, I’m gonna blow your fucking head off! I’m going to assume you are packing heat, okay, and I ain’t gonna wait to find out.
Did I do anything to cause her to be aggravated. I told the cop straight, she got out of her car and came at me yelling obscenities, called me an old man, said I shouldn’t be driving, no way, no how, and she started waving a gun at me.
I did exactly what I’m supposed to do, sir, I shot her between the eyes, she went out like a light, dead before she hit the ground.
You can tell me as many times as you want that she was brandishing a hairbrush, I don’t care. She was brandishing it at me! I had a choice to make. Kill or be killed.
Hairbrushes kill people if the guy thinks it’s a gun.
You can’t prove I didn’t fear that she was holding a gun. I defended myself. That’s why we carry guns, to use them. We are all cops now.
I told you, she had a really big mouth, yelling and screaming at me. I’m not a sister of fucking charity. These quick-tempered assholes, they got to know what to expect if we want decency restored.
We’re taking this country back to when it was a great country.
No, sir. You cannot arrest me. That big mouth is lying there in the road. Clearly, she was coming at me with her hairbrush, but I don’t have to ask what’s she’s holding. I felt my life was being threatened.
I don’t care if she is one hundred and eighty, and was pushing a walker, she raised her arm toward me with the hairbrush in it.
Bam! Shut up old lady.
The law says I have a right to self-defense, am allowed to carry a gun, and can use it to protect myself. Do you know a different law?
What do you mean she was old, of course she’s old. I probably did her family a favor. She was old and carrying a gun, no, not a fucking hairbrush. Don’t fucking lecture me, how many people have you shot holding a cell phone, eh, tell me that.
Okay, then. I’ll be on my way. Get this piece of shit cleared out of the road.
You can thank the Supreme Court. Real Americans.
