Really? An Affair?
My advice to a longtime friend
Last night, late, my cell phone rang. It was Bill Freeman, a long-time friend until he moved away, having got married ten years back. We still keep in touch, but far less frequently.
I had to sit and listen to Bill tell me that his marriage was failing and how he believed the only way he could continue in the marriage was to have an affair. While he admitted this was morally reprehensible, he also said it would keep his family together. He and Sylvia have two kids, nine and seven, a boy and a girl.
I could not reasonably understand his situation. It made no sense, but maybe that’s because I’ve never been in such a desperate place. The first thing that came out of my mouth was rudeness. I felt sorry afterward. However, after feeling calmer, I said, “I doubt you are thinking at all. Your injury is serious, Bill, but not one they can see. Does Sylvia know your feelings?”
In my own life, there is a woman with whom I feel comfortable. I don’t mean that to be interpreted as ‘used to.’ I mean, I feel comfortable with her. She gives me comfort in many ways. I simply can’t imagine anyone else in the world erupting into a fit of giggles when I fart in bed and throw the covers up over our heads. Yes, I’m gross, disgusting, and rude, but she takes it all in stride. She knows me at best, worst, and silliest, still washes my clothes, and lets me take her out to dinner. There is something to be said for that in the world today.
“Bill, what about the effect on those closest to you? Can you honestly expect understanding for your infidelity from someone who has not been unfaithful to you? Would your son view it as acceptable behavior when he becomes an adult? Isn’t loving about sharing, not having secret desires, because telling me that you’re thinking about having an affair being a way to save your marriage is ridiculous. If, on the other hand, you were to tell me that you and Sylvia had agreed on having an open marriage from the start, which clearly you did not, this call would not be happening.
All I can tell you, Bill, as I’m prepared to take my involvement further with Sylvia, is that you need to get it into your skull that, for instance, a butterfly flapping its wings in Beijing will affect the weather in New York. There are genuine connections between our lives and those we touch.
You will do what you will, but I thought I knew you well enough that this step would be impossible.
I hope I’ve made it a little more complicated.
Bernie Pullen | Michelle Jimerson Morris | Amy | Julia A. Keirns | Tina | Pat Romito LaPointe |Brandon Ellrich | Misty Rae | Karen Hoffman | Susie Winfield | Vincent Pisano | Marlene Samuels | Ray Day | Randy Pulley | Michael Rhodes | Lu Skerdoo | Pluto Wolnosci 🟣 | Paula Shablo | Bruce Coulter | Ellen Baker | Kelley Murphy | Leigh-Anne Dennison | Patricia Timmermans | Keeley Schroder | Whye Waite | John Hansen, Trudy Van Buskirk, | Dixie Dodd | The Doctor — Joanie Adams| Adda Maria | Dennett | Men.21times@gmail.com | Nancy Santos | Jenny Blue | Jack Herlocker | Love | Barbara J. Martin | Audrey Clifford | Maria Rattray | Jerry Dwyer | Denise Shelton | Trisha Faye | StorySculptress | Deborah Joyce Goodwin (Red:The-Lady In Blue) | Kelly Corinne Elliott | Emma Vincent | izzibella Beau | Karen Grant | Shay Bishop | RosenberryRJ | Anna V | Miriam Connolly |
(No offense will be taken if you dislike being tagged for various reasons. Please let me know, and I’ll be sure it doesn’t happen on my posts again. If, on the other hand, you’d grace me by allowing a tag, I’d be thrilled to add you.
