What is it with Parking Spots?
Aren’t they wide enough? Fuck me.
So, how many of you already know I hate going to the grocery stores? Correct. All of you.
Here’s another true story.
I’m driving into the parking area at our nearest grocery store, a village all on its own. I’m following a Mercedes coupe driven by a guy in his thirties.
We turn up the same lane, and he pulls into a parking spot, actually two parking spots. His front wheels are a foot over the line. It’s damn near Christmas, right. The stores are heaving. There are few parking spots to be found, and finding two together is rare, but I guess we got lucky, or he did.
He’s parked his fucking new Mercedes so that no one can get alongside him unless you have a Tesla or something else that magically thins itself.
Look, believe me when I tell you I’m a better man than I was when I was sixty, fifty even, and definitely a better man than when I was forty. I am unrecognizable from the man I was at thirty. You get what I’m saying, right?
This guy wants to test me, see if I really am a better person than the one I was. I look at him. He grins. Really? Does he even know what a really bad bastard I’ve been in my life? No, he does not. He’s skating, people, this man is skating.
No, No, Harry. You’re a better man. Yes, I am. I drove on, parking a hundred yards from the store.
Obviously, I was in a good mood and thought I’d leave the Mercedes man a Christmas note.
Sir/or Madam (I didn’t want to give away what I knew)
Trying to get my car into the three-quarter space you left, I managed to ding your car. The people around think I’m leaving my phone number, but of course, I am not. To my mind, you deserve a fucking ding. It’s just small, maybe two or three hundred to fix it. Have a nice Christmas.
And tucked it under the wiper blade in full view.
I went into the store, bought myself a coffee, came back, put $10 in the bucket of the man in the red suit, and sat on the bench to watch the fun.
I must tell you, it was the funniest, warmest five minutes ever as I watched the young Mercedes git look around his car for no reason. Boy, I felt good. I kept faith with myself, I am a better person than I have ever been.
More From Harry:
Adrienne Beaumont, The Sturg, Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles, Trisha Faye, Karen Schwartz, Nancy Oglesby, Katie Michaelson, Bernie Pullen, Michelle Jimerson Morris, Amy, Julia A. Keirns, Pamela Oglesby, Tina, Pat Romito LaPointe, Brandon Ellrich, Misty Rae, Karen Hoffman, Susie Winfield, Vincent Pisano, Marlene Samuels, Ray Day, Randy Pulley, Michael Rhodes, Lu Skerdoo, Pluto Wolnosci 🟣, Paula Shablo, Bruce Coulter, Ellen Baker, Kelley Murphy, Leigh-Anne Dennison, Patricia Timmermans, Keeley Schroder, Jan Sebastian 🖐👩🦰, James Michael Wilkinson, Whye Waite, John Hansen, Trudy Van Buskirk, Robert Bush | Dixie Dodd
(No offense will be taken if you dislike being tagged for various reasons. Please let me know, and I’ll be sure it doesn’t happen on my posts again. If, on the other hand, you’d grace me by allowing a tag, I’d be thrilled to add you.)
